hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
