Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
