C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
