Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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