I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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