Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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