Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Randomize
