I love black thongs
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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