Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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