You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
