Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
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I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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