pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
