Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
