I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
