In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize