I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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