Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
i need to put some appletini on your dick
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
