i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
worst night to have a conscience
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
