hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
