the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
