I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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