I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
