Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
