this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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