morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Randomize