She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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