Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
