just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
nutella sex= disaster
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
