I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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