The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
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