Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
