Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
