i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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