Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
His hands were made for my vagina.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
