Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
