Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
