U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize