go do what you do best...puke behind churches
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I sprained my soul last night
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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