I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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