I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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