I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize