And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
