Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
