I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize