i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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