Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
