It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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