would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
