He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
it was like eating out sand paper
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
