He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
