you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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