is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize