I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
That accounts for only three of the penises
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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