bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Everything about him screamed your future.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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