Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
