is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
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You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
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Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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