ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Randomize
