its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
