Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
