i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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